Thoughts on new web series 'Hunting Season'

While others are criticizing 'Looking' for the lack of sex (note: there's some steamy scenes on the third episode), some are actually praising 'Hunting Season' as a more realistic portrayal of 'the gay life'. The web series, which is composed of only 8 episodes as of this writing, is based on the book 'The Great Cock Hunt (also based on the popular blog with the same title). 

'Hunting Season' is often called the gay 'Sex and the City' due the similarities in the show's format, the main character's way of narrating and the topics that each episode delves into - mostly relationships, hook-ups. The story follows Alex (Ben Baur) and his friends who is having trouble dating but scores wild sexual [mis]adventures easily. He documents his sexcapades through his anonymous personal blog called 'The Great Cock Hunt'. 

One big difference between SATC and Hunting Season is the absence of 'real' issues other than relationships. I mean, gay shows tackling sex and relationships cannot NOT touch the issue of HIV. I would love to see what each character think about Truvada and erectile dysfunction. SATC touched on so many issues about women from their vaginas to fashion to breast cancer.

To their credit, the show is only less than 30 minutes long so they have to be as concise and entertaining as possible. While I feel like the story still lacks something, I still enjoyed each episode. The actors are funny and the script is superb. And oh yeah, the actors are pretty hot and cute too.

If you feel that the show deserves a second season, click the link below and help them make it happen.

HuntingSeason: www.huntingseason.tv

[Work Series] The IT Guys pt 3

At first, I was struggling with the thought of having to make the first move. After all, he works in the same company. I am holding a higher position. He can easily file a sexual harassment case against me. Even though this is a personal request, a couple of other IT folks knew he was going to fix my laptop that day.

I waited for his cock to naturally relax...but it didn't. And seeing it hiding under the wet towel made mine as stiff as a board in no time. He noticed it. I tried to redirect his attention to something else...like, the TV.

"Do you have clean shorts I could borrow Sir?"

"Yeah, I do."

Perhaps it was my unconscious (dirty) mind but I grabbed the smallest and shortest pair I have in my closet. He laughed when he saw it.

"Pekpek shorts!"

"That's okay. You have the legs for it!" ve a

I pointed my finger to his toned legs. He had some killer calves. I love toned calves. They turn me on like crazy.

He decided not to wear a shirt so his big chest became somewhat of the attraction of the night. He obviously goes to the gym but he probably is not doing something right. His arms are huge. His chest and legs are toned. He has a small (but cute) tummy. However, something just isn't quite right.

He started doing something on my computer. I can see his hard on fading but I still see the outline of his cock. This is the first time in many months that I am seeing an almost sexy naked guy in my apartment. He looked damn sexy while typing half-naked.

He opened folders... and a few more. Suddenly, he stumbled upon my vast collection of m2m porn. He laughed and waved his finger:

"Hala, this is a company computer Sir! And you have loads of porn here. My boss won't be pleased... hahaa!"

"Haha.. Why don't we keep that a secret."

He somewhat became a little serious.

"I've always been curious about you Sir."

"What do you mean?"

"We all thought you were straight."

"You did? Who's we?"

"The IT team. Us boys."

"Oh... well. The stack of porn confirms I'm not. Haha."

"I guess."

There was a moment of silence. He reached for the glass of water. Then he became even more serious."

"There was this gay guy in our neighborhood who's been bothering me. He thinks I'm too easy.. hehe"

"Why would he think that?"

"I don't know."

"Maybe you're such a tease...."

"No Sir. Never."

"You are kind of a tease. Even in the office..."

"what made you say that Sir?"

"I don't know. I guess you're the type who's probably any gay guy's type."

"So that mean's I'm your type Sir? Hehe. Just kidding."

"Haha... maybe."

Another awkward silence.

"That gay guy from our neighborhood has been asking if he could suck my cock."

"Oh? Did you....give it to him?"

"Hell no! He's like a dirty old gay guy."

"So if he's not dirty and old, you would?"

"Hmmm..."

"Nevermind. Don't answer that."

"That's okay Sir. Honestly, I've been curious.But I have never tried. Does that make me gay?"

"No, not really. I've sucked a lot of straight cocks in the past. They're still living their happy straight lives."

He laughed hard. "Hahaha! Wow, that many Sir?"

"I can't help it if I'm really good.." I bit my lower lip. He laughed again.

I can see his cock slowly rising. He was struggling to keep it down. The small shorts was not helping. His cock was obviously fucking big. The head was slowly making its way out as it's starting to grow bigger and bigger.

"Do....you..."

"What sir?"

"Nevermind.."

"Do ... you want me to?"

"What?"

I don't know what possessed me. I just pulled down his shorts, pulled out his cock and started sucking on the entire thing. I gagged at first. I was right! It was HUGE. Bigger than I expected actually. I started licking the shaft. He seems to like that a lot. But he was pushing my head downward. He likes it fast. I sucked his cock in a swift, steady motion until he yelled profusely and came all over my face.

He let out a shitload of fucking cum. All over my face....and chest. When I turned around, his cum also hit the sofa and the floor. He was a fucking shooter. It was so hot.

I told him to relax while I get the towel. He tried to grab it from me but I insisted that I clean him up. But before I started wiping the cum off with baby wipes and my towel, I just thought of a better idea.

I sucked the cum off slowly... It tasted really sweet. I have never done anything like this before. I never liked asking anyone to cum in my mouth. But for Carlo, my hot IT guy, everything is possible.

"Wooooo!" He exclaimed.

"Wow"

"Wow sir. That was... great"

"Thanks for fixing my computer."

"Welcome sir."

"Just know that I might discover a virus again soon so you might need to come back."

"Hehe. I'll definitely be back Sir."

"No Problem."

He stood up and went to the shower. His butt was hanging out for me to see. I started touching myself again.

"Oh and sir..?"

"Yes Carlo?"

"I don't have to tell you.. that this is our little secret, right?"

"I won't say a word to anyone"

And that has always been our official parting words when he comes over to my apartment.

[Work Series] The IT guy pt 2

Carlo was absent on Thursday. He didn't confirm if he's going to my place to "fix" my laptop. That's another thing. There was nothing wrong with my laptop. I haven't figured out what I should tell him. Of course, I have to lie about it. I'll figure something out.

The following day, he apologized for being absent and promised he will work on my other requests as soon as possible. And he did. That's what really turns me on. He's smart, he's sexy, and he delivers. I wonder if he's the same when he's in my bed.

It was 5'o clock in the afternoon. He went to my office and confirmed if the visit is a go. Of course I said yes. He said he'll drop by around 6PM because he'll be coming from a basketball practice. Nice. I gave him my unit number and directions on how to get there. I was so excited.

He arrived 5 minutes past 6. He apologized for being late. I was wearing very short shorts and my loose shirt. He was still in his basketball shorts. I showed him my other laptop (the one that really had a problem with the OS) and he started fixing it.

"You want beer?"

"Light?"

"I have that and a stronger one... or wine."

"I'll have the light, Sir."

"Good choice."

He was sweating like crazy. The entire process lasted for about an hour. We talked a little about how to fix it the next time it happens. He taught me how to back up my files. He told me where he lives and all that shit.

By the time he's done, I asked him if he wanted to use my bathroom to take a quick bath.

"Can I? I smell like shit."

I laughed. "Not really. But go ahead."

I watched him take off his clothes. I gave him a clean towel. Doesn't he know I'm gay? He took off his pants like he was in a locker room. I got a 5-second glimpse of him wearing only his underwear just before he quickly wrapped himself with the towel. Of course, I deliberately gave him the small towel. He looked damn sexy.

Fifteen minutes later, he was dripping wet. I was sitting on my couch trying to cover my hard on.

"Sorry sir, your floor is wet."

"That's okay..."

He quickly realized that all of shirts were soiled and his shorts were full of his sweat.

"Shit." He said while scratching his head.

"No worries. You can use my washing machine. I have a dryer. It'll dry in no time. You're not in a hurry, are you?"

"Not really. Is it okay if I stay for a little bit?"

Of course my response was a resounding yes.

I gave him a couple more bottles of beer. By the time he finished his third, he was already tipsy. His clothes were still in the washing machine. He was still wrapped in my small towel. When he stood up to reach for the bottle, the tiny knot broke revealing his gorgeous pelvic muscles. Hanes - that's what his underwear says.

"Oops..."

"That's okay." I smiled.

I picked up the towel and gave it to him. But I deliberately shoved it to his crotch.

"Hehe, sir. You're trying to wake up the beast."

I just smiled. "Did I?"

"Just kidding."

"I'm not."

He gave me a confused look. His cock was still hard. I could see it. He didn't cover it with the towel. He was just standing there in front of me as if waiting for something to happen.

"So.." I said.

"So...." He smiled.

[Work Series] The IT guy pt. 1

I started with a new company a couple of months ago. It's great. New job, new beginnings.

New hot boys too.

I was looking at this very quiet systems administrator from the IT department. He's about 5'9" and is extremely buff. They say he works out for a couple of hours everyday at the nearby gym. It shows. His biceps were monstrous. Of course, I only looked from a distance. I was, after all, technically his supervisor. I work on several IT projects and they report to me.

I've never been good at flirting. The first time we had a real conversation, I asked about some IT stuff. Still about work. That's bad. I waited until he started cracking jokes before I asked him personal questions.

Is he married? No. But he has a domestic partner and they have 2 kids.

Is he gay? Definitely not. He's as straight as an arrow - which makes it more exciting.

Does he have a big cock? We're going to find out soon.

I hope nobody noticed that I have been calling IT more frequently to fix the slightest issues I have with my computer. Blurry screen? Call IT. Screen froze for 5 seconds for no reason? Call IT. Internet connection's gone cold? Call IT.

I would always look for Carlo. That's his name.

The first time I thought that getting him was a possibility happened when my files won't sync. Something to do with the connection. I called IT and they sent Carlo to fix it. His sexy Ilonggo accent was intoxicating. It was a Friday. He wore a tight, red Ferrari shirt that exposed his big pecs. They're to die for. Temperature was pretty cold in my office so yes... his nipples stood at attention. I almost licked them when he stood in front of me.

He didn't ask me to leave my desk. Instead, he moved more closely. My arm was sort of scratching with his muscular biceps. I was breathing more slowly than usual. He looked at me and started asking me questions. He scratched his head, showing me more muscles as he bent his left arm.

Then I finally asked him.

"I have this thing with my personal laptop. The OS is sort of - for a lack of a better term - fucked."

"That's easy. We can back up your files and reformat your laptop. Just bring it here tomorrow."

"It's too heavy... and I don't think the guards will let me bring a personal laptop."

He smiled. "Then I can probably drop by this Saturday to check it out."

I squinted. Then smiled. "Sure. Text me what time you can drop by."

"I don't have your number."

"Here you go.. XXXX XXXXXXXX"

And that's how this IT affair started.

To be continued...

Dose (12): Good Execution, Bad Message

I was very intrigued after watching the trailer of Dose on Youtube last year. It shows a young boy entering the room of his gardener and the scene is supposed to suggest that he was about to administer fellatio on the sexy man portrayed by indie star Yul Servo. The reviews online were great. I thought it was great too. The execution was definitely 'artistic'. They showed not too much skin and the sexual messages were not out there for us to see. There's definitely a lot of room for imagination, especially for someone who has been abused by someone in his younger days.

Pedophilia is a serious issue. I don't approve of men taking advantage of the innocence of young boys just to satisfy their sexual urges. I have a friend who does this and he is no longer a friend of mine. I think it is disgusting and inaappropriate and complete wrong in every angle you look at it.

This is why I was beyond shock when writer and director Senedy Que explained that this story is about love that knows no gender. He forgot to mention that gender does have an age and that love or sex is not a game kids can play at a very young age. I hate the fact that the movie ended that way. It looked like it's promoting pedophilia - that it's okay if your family driver, uncle, gardener, or cousin takes advantage of you because 'you were in love'. That's just plain bad. Plain bad. There's something seriously wrong here.

I am Dating a Porn Addict

It was around 2AM when my phone rang, No, it wasn't a bootie call. It was from my friend Edward. He sounded so upset and begged that he drop by to discuss something really important. I politely said that it was too freaking late to accept visitors. He asked if I was staying in a hospital. All I could say was, 'I get your point.'

It took him only five minutes to come to my apartment. Apparently, he was just staying in the convenience store downstairs for two hours now. He asked me to check my phone and I saw that he's been trying to reach me since 8 in the evening.

'So what so important that it's worth 20 missed calls and 15 text messages?'
'It's Ron.'

Ron is Edward's boyfriend. It was I who first met him in a bar in Malate. I barely saw a spark when we dated twice. On our third date, I decided to introduce him to some of my closest friends - the list included Edward. The two hit it off so quickly - so quickly they did oral sex in the bathroom while I was busy getting free drinks from a hot 30-something guy at the bar. When I realized things are not going to happen between me and Ron, I decided to drop him. Two days later, I learned he was fucking Ed twice a day.

'Is this my karma?'
'Oh Jesus, can we please get off the subject of karma.'
'If it is, I already paid my sins.'
'What's the problem Ed? I know it's not karma so please go straight to the point or I'm kicking you out. I have a meeting tomorrow and I need to get up early.'

He paused. He looked at my TV and stared at me.

'He's addicted to porn!'
'He's what?'
'He buys them from this guy who runs this website.'
'What's the URL? I remember I have to buy new...'
'Fuck you!'
'I'm kidding. So what? Ron's a pretty horny guy. I love porn too. What's wrong with that.'

He had a worried look on his face. Worried that he might be talking to the wrong person.

'I understand porn is something that existed for ages now and people are entitled to it.'
'True...'
'But is it okay if he prefers to watch porn that have sex with you?'
'Huh? Okay that's insane.'

And I thought he was exaggerating. He told me that it started two months ago when he caught Ron masturbating in front of his laptop. He went inside the room inconspicuously and grabbed his cock with his wet mouth. 'Minty' he said as he just brushed his teeth.

However, instead of creating a hot scene that night, Ron's meat suddenly lost its muscle - he got up and looked pissed. Ed wondered why he became soft. Was it the mouthwash or the toothpaste?

Or was it me?

Later that night, he woke up because he felt the bed moving. Again, he caught Ron masturbating with his eyes closed. He licked his nipples and said 'Yeah baby, yeah' and grabbed his cock. To his surprise, he came less than a minute after he held his penis. That's when he became suspicious.

Days passed by and Ron started making excuses so he could skip their usual schedule for sex. He would tell him that he still has some work to do but then he'll find him in front of the laptop, watching videos of Sean Cody and Randy Blue. He tried to confront him but he seemed embarrassed. Ed didn't know what to do. He got so irrational one time that one time, he pulled out his box of porn CDs and threw them away. When he found out, he was infuriated and fucked him against the wall until he felt like his hole was bleeding. It didn't bleed - but the sex wasn't good either.

'What do I do?'
'I have no idea.' And I was telling the truth. I felt that this problem was psychological and he had to try to consult a professional.

'Oh but I heard that it's normal. People are sometimes not stimulated well by their partners. Not your fault though. Some people just require you to go to the heavens to find their GSpot.'

'So - I - What do I have to do then?'
'My friend who's a doctor once said you have to target the source of the problem.'
'Meaning I have to throw his laptop?'
'Not exactly. You need to give in and once he's into it - give him the finger.'
'EXCUSE ME?'
'They say it works.'
'You mean I'll stick my finger in his fucking ass...'
'..and tickle his GSpot.'

He was completely grossed out with the idea. I was surprised he was. For someone who's had guys to do that to him I thought he would be a little more open minded.

'But he's top!'
'Hey, I am too but I tried it.'
'And?'
'It was GREAT. Not something I would ask my sex partner to do everytime we fuck but hey, once in a while you need to shake things up, right?'

The next morning, Ed bought a small KY jelly tube and a condom. He's never been a top before but he figured his fingers might do a better job than his penis. And while he found his partner massaging his cock under the sheets - he put a condom on his finger, lubricated it well and wished himself good luck.

'Well, here goes nothing!' He said to himself.

3AM

It was a typical Saturday night for me: workout at the gym, light dinner with friends, short fuck before I hit the sack and 5-7 times of flirting with your eyes. I realized sex after a full body workout is quite tiring but I couldn't sleep at all. I went through my DVDs - mostly movies and shows I've seen more than once. I watched 'Eating Out 2' one more time and jacked off during one of the hot scenes.

I looked at my watch. It's 230 AM.

After all the things I've done, I decided to leave my place and grab something to eat. I immediately thought of McDonalds: hot chocolate and Sausage McMuffin with Egg. Yum.

I splashed water on my face. Combed my hair a bit and put on my shorts. I held up my shirt and looked at myself in the mirror. Damn. Still a lot of work to be done.

I arrived to McDonalds around 245 AM. They're not serving breakfast yet. I went outside, waiting for them to bring out those muffins while I smoke one stick of Marlboro lights.

And that's when it started.

I was not paying attention to my surroundings. I was focused on the lady at the counter and the food she was serving to the girl in red shorts. A man came up to me and asked, 'Can I have a light?'

'Sure.' I handed him my lighter. He looked at me funny. No, he was checking me out.

'Thanks.'
'Hmm.'
'Are they serving breakfast yet.'
'No, I'm waiting for it.'
'Good.'

He stood beside me. I was still looking at the counter but I can feel him staring at my crotch. Suddenly, I get a hardon. He noticed.

'Whoa, it's pretty cold here outside.'
I smiled and tried to cover my crotch. 'Yeah.'
'Good time.'

I didn't know how to respond. The next thing I knew, he moved to the other side of McDonalds, looking back signaling for me to follow him. I got the message that it's going to be another hot encounter. I followed him.

We went into a narrow street where the houses are smaller and the street lights were all down. It was dark but I got to see his face when a car passed by. He was kind of my type. Not too short, nice arms (but not too muscular). I can see his nipples stiffen and I imagined licking them as he says 'Oh yeah'.

'What's your name?'
'Top.'
'Oh, great. My name is power bottom.'
'Cool.'
'Where are we heading?'
'Some place hot.'

We went to his apartment. It was dark but I saw him take off his shirt. In an instant, he kissed me. I kissed him back. It was nice. Good start. I tried to unbutton his pants but he pushed my hand away.

'Let me do my job.'
'Sure.'

I sat on the couch and he took off my shirt. Then my underwear. Then he sucked my cock which by that time was on full erection, ready to be licked and devoured.

I tried to caress him but he stopped me again. He pinned me down and shook his head. Oh yes, I don't get to do anything. He's the power bottom. I'm there to just enjoy. He sat on my legs and kissed me some more.

'You're hot.'
'You're hot too.' I said while struggling to free my arms.

I decided to stick out my tongue, telling him to move his chest nearer so I can taste his nipples. He obliged. It was as delicious as I imagined when I first saw them. He moaned and moaned and told me I was good. I stopped to remind him that I wasn't gonna do anything more than that.

He seemed to have gotten the message. He sucked me again - deepthroat this time. I pushed his head so he can go further and he did. His other hand was wandering, trying to get hold of something. It was the condom in the pocket of his shorts. It was sexy the way he put on the condom with his mouth. Nice and easy. Then he went fast. Then nice and easy.

'Don't move.'
'Yes sir.'

He sat on my cock and kept pushing my shoulders. He was obviously enjoying it.

'Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!'
'Ahhhh.'
'Ahhhh... fuck. You're..ahhh... Fuck! Shit!'

He controlled the depth that my cock could reach. No one has ever done this to me. I've never been so submissive as a top. He went fast that my cock was hurting but he looked like he was about to cum so I didn't mind. He stopped, turned around and I started to lick his back while he was still grinding and moaning and masturbating and saying all nasty things.

'Keep doing that!' He commanded. I piched his nipples as he moaned even more. And in an instant, I decided to take control of the show.

I put my hands under his thighs and stood up while I was inside him. He screamed as I reached deeper into his G spot. I put him down and pushed him against the wall and fucked him like crazy.

It didn't last too long. It was way too hot for both of us not to explode anytime soon. He yelled, 'I'm cumming, I'm cumming!' I came before he did.

We stopped for a minute. I was still inside him. I was still pushing him against the wall. I tried to get my cock out of his ass but he grabbed my butt and pushed it against his.

'Not yet. Stay in me.'

I agreed. I carried him again while he moaned quietly.I sat on the couch and he felt my cock touch his G Spot.

'Fuck. Ahhhh. Shit. That was hot.'
'Yeah.'
'You're still hard.'
'Yeah.'

Truth is, I was tired. But I don't remember ever getting soft after a hot encounter like this.

'I can still feel you.'
'Is that a good thing?'
'Yeah.'

Suddenly, the lights were on. I see a guy with almost the exact same built staring at us. The guy I fucked didn't seem shocked at all.

'This is... my roommate.'

I struggled to smile. My hands were on his waist and I didn't know if I had to hide behind him. We were both naked and wasted and filled the room with the smell of sex.

'Nice.' The roommate said.

Now what?

The Ex-Ex-Men - Fourth encounter

I had a choice - I could have gone ahead and made it look like his small bachelor party before he gets married to that girl Janna. Instead, I treated is as a small victory and a chance for him to make sense out of everything that happened in the past two weeks.

'What was that about?' He asked while still fixing his shirt.

'So, you ready to tell me what's going on here.'
'Nothing - that's what's happening here.'
'No, not here. I meant this whole circus.'
'Nobody's going to a circus. I'm getting married.'
'Well, it seems like it is.'
'You don't understand.'

I went back to the kitchen to make some coffee when he stood up and tried to escape.

'You are NOT going anywhere.'
'I'm not. I-I was.' He sat down and kept staring at his hands like he just killed someone.

'It's okay,' I gave him some coffee. 'It's me.'
'That's the big deal.'
'What? We're like friends Yoko.'
'You wouldn't understand.'
'That's because you wouldn't let me.'

And then he started talking. He told me after we broke up, he was upset and he started fooling around. He met this guy, a model whom he fell in love with. They dated, fell in love and broke up. He was down and all and he felt that he couldn't talk to anyone. This is until he met Janna who worked in the same building where he works.

'She was so nice. She helped me move on.'
'So she does know about all this.'
'Yes, and she was so cool with it. I always thank God for making her understand --'
'That you like cock?'
'Haha, no silly. For making her understand my past. What I used to be. And the funny thing is she changed me.'

I frowned.

'What?'
'Well I'm not too sure that she changed you 100%.'

He looked down in shame.

'I'm kidding.' I held his hands. They were cold.
'Hmm..'
'Have you--'
'Have I what?'
'Have you had any slips? Like this one?'
'No. No. Hell no. I love her. I wouldn't...'
'You just did.'

There was silence. He was melting in shame after what we did -- ALMOST did.

'I thought I could help it but I couldn't.'
'Hmm..'
'But you have to know that this only happened with you.'

I blushed.

'So many guys tried it.'
'I can't blame them.'
'And even some of Janna's gay friends did. Like they had a bet or something.'
'Well, if it's any consolation, I think you're doing an excellent job masking your un-happiness.'
'Who says I'm unhappy?'
'Okay, then let's call it something else. Your game, perhaps?'
'I told you. It's not like that.'

I wasn't convinced.

'How do you see yourself 5 years from now?'
'Well, we're planning on having kids and..'
'..And going to some bath house sucking cock while she's cooking dinner?'
'Stop.'
'Or calling me in the middle of the night saying, I'm having a relapse please fuck me?'
'STOP it Kai.'
'Seriously! You're hurting her and most importantly, you're hurting yourself.'

I saw teardrops but I wasn't sure. He quickly wiped them off like he'd wipe off some dirt on his face. He was obviously on the verge of breaking down but he didn't.

'I have to go.'
'Yeah, you have to watch Sean Cody porn right?'
'Fuck you.'
'Sure, I can be bottom for you.'
'FUCK YOU!'

He slammed the door. It made a deafening sound that blocked my thoughts for a second. The suddenly, I just imagined what could have happened if I continued.. if I kissed him.. if I gave him a blowjob and vice versa. Would I expect a shit load of cum since he's claiming he hadn't been with a guy for so long? That would have been a sight to behold.

But soon after, I thought of his pain. Or is it pain? Was he really masking his unhappiness like I told him?

The next day, I decided I should go talk to the person who would most probably shed some light into this situation. I called Diana, Yoko's sister.

'Hey Diana,'
'Hey bestman! Long time no see.'
'Uhm, yeah. Listen... I need to know something.'
'Oh I'm sure you do.'
'Right. Uhm... is it okay like are you free now?'
'Actually, I'm at Coffee Bean. Meet me here in 15?'

It only took 10 minutes for me to get there. I was anxious to see what she was going to tell me. She sounded not so surprised to hear from me.

'So, what do you wanna know?'
'I wanna know why?'
'Why? Just because.'
'Just because?'
'Yeah, some people choose to marry not just for convenience -- it's because it's the way they want to go.'
'Like he suddenly turned vegan in a day?'
'You're obviously just looking at the sex part.'
'Is there any other angle?'

The conversation was interrupted for a second by the barista who was calling out my name. I got my drink and let her continue.

'They're just two consenting adults who, at the time they met were both lonely and single but wouldn't want to stay that way forever. And I know it's a cliche to say having a family is the way to go but that's what they thought they should do.'

She sipped her coffee while I became immobile. My jaws dropped and I couldn't get myself to get them back in place.

'You should know something, Kai.'
'Oh, there's more??'
'Yes there is.'

The Ex-Ex-Men - Second encounter

I called George the next day, still unable to fathom what was revealed to me at the coffee shop.

'He turned into an Ex-ex-man!'
'Ex-ex-what?'
'You know, Ex-ex-men. Gay guys who decide to be straight again.'
'Oh, I get it now. Hence the double negation.'
'I just can't believe you would trade a cock for a pussy just like that.'
'It's 6 in the morning and we're talking cock trades?'
'How did this happen?'
'Ask Seth.'

Seth was the first ex-ex-man I met. At the age of 4, he wore his mother's lipstick. At 7 he told his dad he wants to have a vagina. He left them some months after when his mom supported the idea. When he was in high school, he wore his polo like a hanging blouse. The guidance counselor frowned at this but when they realized how generous his parents were, they pretended like it's a giant elephant that nobody can talk about.

'Did you recruit my ex?'
'Excuse me?'
'Yoko, did he join your club?'
'Oh him.. cu-- how is he?'
'Well, George and I bumped into him yesterday and guess what he told me?'
'He's moved on and forgotten about you?'
'Well, yeah maybe and even more.'

I paused. He looked anxious to know what it was about.

'He told me he's getting married.'
'Wow.'
'To a woman.'
'WOW! He finally saw the light!'
'The light - what does that even mean?'
'I knew he wasn't really gay.'
'And you knew this because..?'
'Because he never looked at you like a man would..'
'Okay stop before you hurt my feelings. What I really would like to know is how on earth could this be possible.'

'Simple. You wake up and realize it's not what you want.'
'It's not that simple Seth.'

I thought about this so carefully, especially when the time when Seth wanted to be called Selena played in my head.

'When I saw the light..'
'Can you please stop calling it that.'
'Fine. When I realized I'm straight, I just fell for someone. Julie was perfect. She made me laugh and I was happy. Believe me, I never really entertained the idea of having sex with a woman but when it happened it was the best sex I had.'

That made me cringe a bit.

'Really, did you yell for the cops?'
'Seriously, I think people change.'
'Sexualities don't.'
'Maybe they do. Mine did.

The next day, I decided to call the ex-ex-men and ask him how he ended up being a vegetarian.

'You busy?'
'Just some wedding stuff but yeah I guess we can talk.'
'Okay, jokes on me. Please tell me you're not doing this?'
'Excuse me, is this Julia Roberts from My Best Friend's Wedding?'
'No, I am not Julia Roberts and I am not your best

friend. I'm your ex and I hope you still remember that.'
'Oh yeah I do.'
'Then why are you doing this?'
'Doing what?'

'This wedding. This act. This lie. Make no mistake I am not jealous at all that you've found a way to distract yourself. And I am not trying to get back with you either. I am just mostly concerned about this whole drama of yours. You'll end up hurting someone and she seems really nice.'

'She is nice.'
'Then why would you lie to her??'
'I'm not lying to anyone.'
'Yes you are. You are gay and you suck cock. You don't wake up one day and decide that you hate beef.'

There was an awkward silence.

'Hey I'm sorry. I-I was just concerned about you.'
'Janna knows.'
'What?'
'About you. About us. Our past.'
'She does? How..'
'Maybe you have to start believing in love a bit. People fall in love and some just cannot control how it's gonna happen. It happened this way to me -- believe it or not. I was in love with you. And I accepted that. Now I fell in love with her and you have to accept that.'

He had a point. Maybe there was no need to define what was happening to him. Our society is defined by so many labels - gay, straight, bisexual. Maybe he didn't subscribe to the same labels.

The Ex-Ex-Men - first encounter

Fully recovered from the whole 'married life' drama, I decided to meet George for coffee and tell him what happened at Krispy Kreme. He was elated at the fact that he was right again.

'Dahling', He said in that crazy tone of his. 'if you really have to say I'm happily married then that's a big sign someone isn't so happy after all.'

'I realized that. Why state the obvious?'
'Or why state the NOT so obvious?'
'True. You're right. But the quote unquote husband is kinda cute.'
'Cute and homophobic.'
'See that's the weird. How can a homo be anti-homo?'
'It's called F-E-A-R dahling.'
'Stop calling me dahling makes me crazy.'

He sipped his coffee while I asked the barista about the tea I ordered 2 minutes ago. Sadly, they forgot about me. Tea drinkers don't get enough attention at coffee shops evidently.

'It's sad though. Anyway, I want to put it all behind me.'
'You should. I bet his face spelled loser on his way out.'
'Yes, it did.'

The tea finally came and the cute barista apologized for making me wait. I told him it's fine but it actually wasn't. As he left the table, he revealed what was behind him - a bigger table with two people having what seems to be a fun conversation. I could see a woman's back, and then suddenly, I realized my ex was staring at me.

George had to whisper, 'Isn't that..?'
'Yes it is.' I pretended I didn't see him. But I heard him excuse himself as he walked towards our table.

'You must have forgotten about me.'
'Ohh, hey Yoko.' It was his nickname.
'Long time no see.'
'Yeah, 3 years?'
'So what's new?'

George signaled for a cigarette break. He left us right after he sat.

'Nothing new. How about you.'
'Well, I'm getting married.'
'Excuse me?'
'Can you believe it?'
'No.. really. Seriously?'
'Yeah. Janna over there. I wanted you to meet her but I figured I should ask you first..'
'Ask me what?'
'How you want to be introduced.'
'Well, can I say we used to date, fuck and kiss and that you were my ex?'
'Of course not. Janna doesn't know any of that.'
'So what now?'

He called out her name. She joined us and the uncomfortable introductions began.

'This is Janna, the love of my life.'

I almost threw up. I imagined his legs up in the air while yelling, telling me not to stop fucking him.

'Hi Janna.'
'So nice to finally meet you!'
'Oh yeah?'
'Yoko told me everything about you.'
'Yeah, maybe not all.'

He gave me a funny look.

'You so cannot miss the wedding. I don't have the invitation here but we'll send it to your place.'
'Oh, I don't know..'
'You can't miss it when you're the best man!'

There I was - an ex-partner suddenly reduced to a best man.

The Married Life - Last Ep

The next day, the sun was bright. I told myself it will be a good day. I prepared my tea and turned on my laptop and finally checked my phone for unread messages. There was none. Unfortunately, when I went to "messages", it was still there -- Thad's well wishes for me to complete myself by finding a relationship.

Damn it. I thought I'm already over this thing. Apparently, this message is still bothering me, more like haunting me and I still can't figure out why. Is it just me? Or is the message itself offensive? To find out, I called in the most reliable shrink in the city, my true confidante and the person who snaps me back into perspective in times of silly crisis like this: George.

'Fuck Carrie! Fuck Jerry Maguire! Fuck them all!'

And he is not in a good mood whenever someone pisses me off like this. He's what you would call a real friend.

'Asking someone to complete you is not true love. That's being an opportunist!'
'Uh-huh...'
'Believe me, it's sometimes even sad because you feel more alone -- because you're always dependent on the other person.'

George is in Public Relations and he is in a relationship with a not-so-hot, but super sweet and thoughtful TV producer. He says he's happy in the relationship, but he would never EVER call it a marriage.

'That's the most condescending thing 'coupled' people can ever say to singles.'
'I know!'
'You don't complete yourself in another person.'
'I don't!'
'It's always a decision ANYONE can make, single or otherwise!'
'Amen!'

Later that day, I tried not to think about. I decided to walk down Ayala Avenue and celebrate my choice of being a single-slash-not-looking-now-or-anytime-soon. As I passed by Krispy Kreme, I thought of a getting one of those new Hershey's donuts. Then I thought, Thad works in one of those buildings. Seeing me have my Krispy Kreme moment alone is not a good idea.

But just before I left, I took a final look at the bright 'Fresh Donuts' sign and noticed the man facing the street looked familiar. As I looked more closely, I realized it was the unfriendly married friend Thad.

At that point, I had the choice of walking away. But I thought I should confront him now and end this. After all, he wasn't alone. I think it's about time I meet this husband of his and get my message across.

When I walked in, he immediately saw me. He waved and looked at the man sitting beside him.

'See? I don't need to be married to see my 'married' friends.' I made the hand gesture for quotation marks.

The man looked uncomfortable. His face read, 'Who the fuck is this?'

'This is Kai, my friend from college.'
'Nice to meet you Husband of Thad.'

He was shocked after I blurted the word 'Husband'. He pulled Thad's arm and whispered something to his ear. I read his lips and I couldn't be wrong.

'You told him?'
'Relax, he's my friend.'
'You're fucked up.'
'No wait.'

He stood up, but Thad was still holding his left arm.

'Chill, he won't talk.'
'I told you to shut the fuck up.'
'Keep your voice down.'
'We'll talk later.'

He took one last angry look at me and stormed out of the donut shop.

I told him: 'Well, that was a pleasant way to greet your husband's friend...'

It was at that point when I realized the 'Married Life' he was so proud of was more of a torture than fantasy.

'Sorry about that he's...'
'Not out, I understand. As usual.'
'And he doesn't want to be called that.'
'I didn't you did.'
'I did?'
'Yes, you did. Remember that, good luck message?'
'Silly.'
'Yeah silly you.'
'I have to go. He's just waiting at the corner.'
'Okay, well, go get your husband before he divorces you tonight. Hahaha.'

The only response I got was a frown. Something tells me, that joke wasn't funny.

What's the point of a married life if the person you're married to is not into it?

I thought about what happened at Krispy Kreme today. I realized that he probably didn't mean anything when he said that to me. He probably wanted me to have a partner so I would look like I understand what is going on with them as supposed to being a happy single guy laughing at them as they cut each other's head off.

The married life may be happening to someone else out there. Who knows, maybe it does exist even in the absence of a real wedding ceremony.

-End-

The 'Married' Life part two

As I thought about it, Thad had a good point. Carrie did get married in the movie. But now does that mean everyone else has to do the same thing? Aren't singles given credit for making the choice of their marital status? And whenever failed relationships happen, especially for marriages, do you have to keep searching for 'the one'?

Our texting spree didn't really end with the mention of Sex and the City. He asked how I am doing now and I said I'm fine. I got out of a relationship - or pseudo whichever is more appropriate for you -- and I am currently not looking. Surprisingly, I was telling the truth.

'Well, I'm glad you're okay. I wish you more success and finally a relationship so your life would be complete.'

I didn't bother replying to that message. What does it mean? Does a relationship always complete someone's life? Or is it life's big lid that controls the life of a happy and carefree single guy?

Later that day, I decided I couldn't let this pass without asking for my friends' opinions on the matter. I called Joe and he noticed that I sounded so upset.

'My friend Thad thinks I'm lonely.'
'Did he say that?'
'No, but he wished me good luck in finding myself a relationship to complete my life.'
'I hate it when people say that.'
'Like it's a pill you have to take to keep your sanity!'
'Like it's a lubricant you have to put on your cock to make your life more pleasurable.'
'When did having a relationship become a prerequisite to a successful and happy life?'
'WHy does it bother you so much?'
'Because I hate to think that people are now looking at me saying Poor boy, he doesn't have a boyfriend. He'll grow old and lonely.'
'Who the fuck cares what they think. I go to bars alone but I always make sure I don't leave alone.'

That's the thing about single guys. We can hook-up whenever and wherever. But is it enough to show this to those 'married guys'?

'Kai, this isn't a contest where you need to show your medal to your friends.'
'Apparently, it is.'
'WHy so?'
'Thad said I will see his quote unquote husband when I'm also married so we can have a double date.'
'WHat the fuck?'
'Yeah what the F.. now it's a prerequisite to a nice dinner with a friend too.'
'Then why don't you just get a date?'

I didn't think about that. But now that he brought it up, I thought it would be a bad idea.

'Even worse because he might think I'm just pretending to be happy.'
'Are you?'
'No, I don't think I have to pretend.. I mean...'
'No, I mean -- are you happy?'

And that's the question we've all been wanting to answer.

The 'Married' Life part one

Gays in manila are often fond of calling their relationship a 'marriage'. While gay marriage is yet to be legalized in this country, some of us have managed to live as married couples, share an apartment, buy groceries together, try to finish each other's sentences and all the brouhaha. I don't see anything wrong with it but I can't help but make a funny face whenever someone is being introduced to be as someone's ASAWA*.

This came to mind when one day I was bored and I decided to get in touch with some very old friends - the one you've met when you were younger, more energetic, and more sexually-confused. One of those friends is Thad, a manager who works at some insurance company.

Thad and I went to the same university. We were both in the closet back then and I had absolutely no idea that he has part of our world. The secret came out when I told him I met with his friend Chris, who then volunteered to help me on a paper I was doing for our communications class. We met online.

'Hey, I met your friend.'
'Which one?'
'Chris... he's helping me with my paper.'
'How'd you meet him?'
'We met online. We just chatted and he said he could help.'

Thad just stood there, not knowing how to react to what I said. Apparently, 'chatting with Chris' always meant chatting with him on the Bi-manila channel, a popular chatroom for PLUs.

He later confessed that he already knew about me and that now we're both out we've got nothing else to hide.

--

Fast forward 5 years later. Thad got an early success in his career. He got a high-paying job and he said he's in a very special relationship.

I texted him to ask how this special love of his is doing.

'I'm completely happy with my married life.'
'Oh really? And when do I meet this husband of yours?'
'Someday when you're also married. SO we can have a double date!'

I didn't know what to say. I gave it a good 5 minutes before I replied:

'That's a mean thing to say. What if I'm Carrie Bradshaw? I'm always single!'
'Kai, even Carrie realized married life is happier. She eventually tied the knot, didn't she?'

And there, in my room while holding my cellphone, I started cursing at Carrie Bradshaw and the writers of Sex and the City.


*Asawa is the Filipino term for spouse

The End of the Show - Porntifications 5.0

Dating Buck was more fun that I thought. First, he was the perfect candidate for a trophy boyfriend. While he refused to go to the fabulous gay district for even a shot of vodka or a bottle of beer, he tries to compensate by making me feel like his real partner when we're in the straight zone -- the malls, the bank, the streets.

One time at Krispy Kreme, a young kid was looking at us funny because we were sharing one glazed donut. There were two guys at the table next to ours who were gawking at us. They were obviously a couple so I didn't understand why there were acting strange.

'I know. Let's pretend you have something on your lip and I'll lick it off.'
'Are you crazy? You'll have us arrested.'
'For what?'
'Being in the straightzone. Chill.'

I admit it was a fun idea. ANd knowing that Buck was willing to do that in front of these people is great. He was really comfortable with the idea that we're together. I like that.

'In Toronto, you can kiss anybody. And I mean anybody.'
'SO you've kissed the entire town?'
'Toronto and the neighboring parts.'
'Yeah... that's AWESOME. REALLY.'

I was still quite uncomfortable with the idea that I'm dating someone who jacks off for a living. But you know what they say about relationships -- it's always a compromise.

And that's what I tried to do. Since we were both busy with our 'jobs', I decided he should stay at my apartment for a while.

'Besides, I have this cool poster. It's big enough to be your backdrop.' He smiled like a kid.

So here's how our day would normally be like: We'd wake up together. Shower together. Dress up together. I always tell him that he doesn't need to wear his long sleeves and tie but then he said: 'My customers like it. It's for my office guy show.'

He was a pretty creative guy. I've seen some of his shows. I encouraged him to wear a mask and he did. He'd usually play the role of a corporate guy who likes porn and who jacks off every time he gets home. He cut some boards and put it in front of the camera. The trick is to make it look like you are in the building across his place and you are trying to take a peek at the masturbating neighbor.

And the show was great. Guys online loved him and I'm surprised that they do send money before, during and after the show.

Friday's are, well, called Thank Greg it's Fucking Friday. He still hasn't told me why he picked the name Greg. TGIFF is when you bid for the next move. For example, if you want to see his ass, we'll start at 20 dollars. If you want him to play with it, that's gonna cost 5 more. If you want him to put a dildo in it, then that's 50-dollar show.

These shows last for less than an hour. It's a private show so the customers are the only ones who can see what they bid on. The more guys bid, the more money he gets. He gets a maximum of 8 customers a night.

By the time I get home, he'd be like a dead fish lying on my bed. I'll kiss him goodnight and he'll try to start making love. I'll tell him he's tired and he'll say he's sorry he's not giving me enough time -- a.k.a. enough sex. So he decided he won't be taking any jobs every Sunday because that's when the real sex happens.

'So you have sex only once a week?'

Joe was the only one I told about the whole Buck thing not because he's the only one I trust with this information but because he's the only one I know who can handle it.

'Does a blowjob count?'
'He must be really tired everyday...'
'You bet. He does 8 shows every night.'
'Does he cum in each show.'
'He used to. When he only had 3-4 shows but when he started doing more he figured he should use fake cum.'
'Yeah, cumming for 8 times a night isn't healthy.'
'So you can't do that? Joe, I'm disappointed!'

He looked insulted. Joe is confident that he is one of the most effective sexual machines on the planet and saying that isn't going to help boost his reputation.

'Well, I'm not crazy enough to cum every hour!'
'Hahaha I figured.'
'I'm serious! It's going to kill my legs.'
'Oh yeah... I know. Remember that time when I was bored and I was in my apartment? I jacked off the entire day. About 8 times I believe and boy did it hurt so much.'
'That's 8 times with an interval of...'
'Oh definitely more than an hour.'
'I thought so.'

Later that night, I asked him if he could take some time off his 'work' and have dinner with me. Unfortunately, the businessman said he had to meet his target profit by end of the week and he's not anywhere near it. So I decided to have dinner with Joe instead.

'Where's your guy?'
'Oh, he's in a business meeting.'
'Ooohhh sexy.'

Joe was awfully quiet that night. It seemed as if he wanted to tell me something but he couldn't.

'Well..?'
'Well?'
'You've been sitting like a statue there. Talk to me.'
'Well... I have a confession to make.'
'Let's hear it.'
'Okay but first, how are today?'
'Oh let's cut the crap and get with the program I'm starting to get bored.'

He grabbed a cigarette and gave me one too. His hands were shaking. He looked scared. Of what?

'I saw it.'
'Mamma mia? Great! Told you it was good!'
'No, the other show.'
'Which one?'
'You man's show.'

I coughed as I was about to exhale with the thick smoke from my mouth.

'You what?'
'Okay, don't get mad. I just thought I should see if you were telling me the truth.'
'Why would I lie to you?'
'I don't know. But you were right. He was good. Great!'
'Shit.'
'Sorry!'
'So is this going to happen everyday?'
'NO, he's pretty expensive. And for you, I won't.'
'No, I mean -- am I now going to bump into each and every customer of my porn star?'
'You said they were all from other countries right?'
'Not the ones who've been sending him money through his cellphone.'
'You can do that?'

I frowned. He shut his mouth for his sake.

When I got home that night, I was greeted with some ahhhs and ooohhhs in my apartment. There were crumpled pieces of tissue paper lying around and my place smelled like cum. He said hi to me and gave me a gesture that means 'I'm busy, someone's watching me.'

'STOP.'
'Hushhhh...' He put his hand on his finger. The man was still watching.

'You have to stop. Get out. I'm done.'
He stood up. Typed the words 'One minute'. The guy stayed online. He paid 15 dollars to see this shit.

'What's the matter baby?'
'I'm done. I'm done. I'm done.' That's all I could say.
'Look, I thought you understood.'
'I did. I still do. That's why you have to leave.'
'Kai.. baby..'
'I now understand that I can't do this.'
'come on..'
'Yeah, cum that's what my place smells like.'
'Look, I'm gonna clean up and we'll talk okay. Right now I have...'
'You have a customer huh?'
'Hunny, just let me cum and he's gone okay? He paid 15 dollars to see this and he's not going anywhere.'

I disconnected his webcam from the laptop. He looked down and kicked the chair.

'I'm sorry aight? I said I'm sorry.'
'Yeah, I'm sorry too Buck.'

I let him finish his 2 other shows that night. He must have earned 30-50 dollars.

The next day, Buck moved out.

Buck was still one of my great fucks.

Porntifications 4.0

Later that week, I tried my best to avoid Buck. He texted me like a hundred times but before I could read the message I press delete and go back to my life trying to take my mind off the '50-dollar jack off live show'.

'Do you think he was kidding? 50 dollars is a lot for just seeing someone enjoy himself.'

Joe is the one person I turn to when it comes to the Buck issue. He's sexually active and he dates any guy -- and I mean JUST ANY guy. I figured he would have a better view of the whole situation.

'I thought so too. But then he said the guy's old and rich. It was his first and last expensive jack-off session.'
'I just can't believe someone would pay that amount to see someone touch himself.'
'On webcam...'
'Yeah, see that's what I'm saying. You can get someone to do it for 100 pesos.'
'I frowned. 'That's not even 5 dollars!'
'That's my point.'
'DO you think he's just lying?'
'Why, do you have another theory?'
'He's pretty gorgeous. What if he's really an escort?'
'I think he's a pretty decent guy.'
'Decent enough to jack off for 50?'
'Dollars -- don't let anyone think it's for a third world's currency.'

---

After talking to Joe, I wondered why I was so bothered about the whole thing. People do crazy stuff to survive in the jungle and he was no different from us animals. Joe made a good point: he's too gorgeous to be an escort - too gorgeous that he'd be ridiculously overpriced and would be charging more for tips.

So after a few more missed calls and some more text messages, I decided I was ready to have a little chat with the porn star.

Kaionthego: Buzz!
BuckF: HEY, I called like a hundred times
Kaionthego: Yeah, sorry.
BuckF: Sorry I freaked you out.
Kaionthego: No, it's just me. I was just surprised.
BuckF: Of course, you were.
Kaionthego: I thought you would say you're Paris Hilton's lost brother or something.
BuckF: Haha [smiley] Unfortunately, I'm not.
Kaionthego: [smiley]
BuckF: Can I call you?
Kaionthego: Sure.

Less than 10 seconds later, we were on the phone. And this time, I was controlling the conversation.

'Tell me the truth.'
'Okay..'
'Did you just make that all up to cover the fact that you're a male escort?'
'What? What are...'
'That you get paid by rich and arrogant queens?'
'No, what are you talking..'
'And if you like them you suck them too?'
'STOP.'

I realized I had to. I was talking way too fast I couldn't keep up with myself. It was an ambush interview with the porn star.

'I am not going to explain what I do anymore. I just told you -- only you because I know you will understand and because I like you.'

There was an uncomfortable pause.

'Hello?'
'I'm still here.' I finally managed to say a few words.
'It's not like what you think, no.'
'Of course, it's not.'
'Hey, don't patronize me.'
'I'm not. I'm just talking.'
'So can I finally see you?'
'Hmm..'
'Tonight?'
'Gee, I don't know. Don't you have a show at 9AM Central time?'

He made a sound that made me realize he was getting annoyed.

'Alright. Alright. Fine.'
'And that's 9PM MANILA time for you.'
'I hope you're wearing something...'
'I hope I won't be by the end of the night.'

And so we went to that new restaurant -- the same one where we were supposed to go when he broke the news about his occupation. I realized, if you like someone, it won't matter whether he's a porn star or someone with poses for DNA or PlayGirl.

The important thing is that he does the most intimate thing with only you, to only you and only for you.

And that his wanking costs 50 dollars too.

Porntifications part 2

I tried to ignore what he just said. He just said he's a porn star. I laughed and I forgot to see if he was serious. He does have a muscular built. His biceps were big enough for me to fall in love with him. He showed me his abs which are to die for. What is it about big arms and flat abs? They show us some skin with no visible fat and we fall head over heels with this type of guy.

Buck was one of my great fucks.

Since that night we met, we started hanging out together mostly for drinks on a Saturday night. I initially didn't get his number. I didn't know if he was into boys so I was extra careful. But even though we didn't have any way of contacting each other we just always end up on the same side of the bar, drinking beer or something much stronger.

'So what do you do?'
'Some outsourced job.'
'Call center?'
'Close. It's a website management thing.'
'Oh, like you blog?'
'That's one aspect of the job.'
'Cool dude.'

He called me dude.

I went on to explain what type of work I do and he seemed pretty interested. He told me he does some business on the internet too and that's how the conversation went the entire night.

'What type of business do you do? Marketing? I asked.
He sort of grinned. 'Sort of...'
'Oh yeah? What kind? I mean how is it?'
'Well, I told you didn't I?'
'Told me what?'

He smiled and looked down. He seemed shy but he's always smiling. And how disarming was his gorgeous smile.

'Come on..'
'Where are we going?'
'I'll show you something.'

We ended up at his place - a big loft in the middle of the most fabulous address in the city. He told me it's owned by his friend who recently left the country. He's not paying rent but he has to pay the association dues and the bills. That's when I had the chance to inject the question again:

'So how do you pay for all this? I mean what do you do?'
'I told you, right?'
'Haha, that you're a porn star?'
'Yeah...'
I paused. ' You've got to be kidding me right?'
'Hmmm...'

He grabbed my butt and pushed his crotch against mine.

'No I ain't.'

I smiled thinking it was a joke. The whole thing was kind of erotic. Maybe he was just into role playing and stuff. We kissed for a good 5 minutes until our lips were sore. Then he took off his shirt to reveal his excellent physique. I licked every moving muscle of his body, starting from his nicely shaped pecs, I went through his soft nipples until I reached his abs. I gave him the best blowjob he can ever get (well, at least I know I did my best). He moaned and begged for more and so I gave it to him.

And in a split second, he asked me to turn around, as if telling me he wanted to fuck me. I dilly-dallied but he was just too hot to resist. If I were to bottom for someone, it better be someone like him.

'I don't usually... do that.'
'Don't worry.. it'll be alright. I'll be gentle.'

And gentle he was from the first time his dick touched my bum until he pushed his entire piece into me. I was in pain. And I could hear him saying something to me -- to make me relax or something. Or probably to make me horny. I heard him say, ' Do you feel me?' And I screamed, 'Yes, I fucking feel every inch of your fucking dick asshole!'

It got pretty rough. And it wasn't much fun being on the receiving end. But when I looked back to see just how hard he was fucking me, I saw a very excited man, a very horny Buck giving me one of my best fucks.

'Damn, fuck you!'
'Fuck me!'

And he did so with so much passion and drama, it almost looked like we were in a porn movie.

Maybe he wasn't kidding after all.

Porntifications part 1

He was one of my best fucks ever. Ironically, his name was Buck, short for Buckley. Buck the great fuck. He grew up in Canada and was staying in Manila for a few months because he was in some trouble in his hometown. He said he it's not murder or anything so I didn't have to worry. I was afraid at first but when you see a gorgeous skateboard guy which abs to die for looking you in the eye saying, 'I'm not a murderer, don't be afraid.' What's a gullible gay guy to do?

I met him at a bar. Well, actually outside the bar. I was wasted and was smoking like crazy. I decided to get some air when I suddenly hit the ground. And there he was, asking me if I was alright. The skater dude with a funny accent -- definitely not American or British -- was trying to pull me up. I didn't think of my fall because I was too drunk to feel anything at that time. I just stared at his eyes and asked, 'Vous estes Francais?' He responded, 'Non, I am Canadian but that was close.'

That night we didn't talk about anything unusual. I asked him what he was doing in Manila and he said he was on vacation. Later on he told me how he got into trouble. That's he confessed that he got into a fight with some group of skater boys and someone got 'seriously hurt' that he had to go away. He showed me his bruises on his stomach. Nice abs, I said to myself. He's not bad looking at all.

I told him what I do for a living. He asked a lot of questions to a point when I almost forgot to ask him what he does.

'Oh I'm sorry. What about you?'
'Uhm, me?'
'Yeah, what do you do? I mean you're technically on vacation but..'
'Yeah I am. I -ah..'

He looked up, then smiled at me and said:

'I'm an actor.'

Masseur experience (second of THREE parts)

The most recent experience I had was last week. I first heard about this spa through a friend - a girl friend. She said the services were exceptional and she plans to bring me there some day. I forgot about the spa. Two weeks later, I started hearing rumors about flirty masseurs at that same place. There was this one guy I met who said they really initiated the whole thing.

'He was massaging my back. He stood in front of my head and started kneading, yes knead is the term.

'He then touched my butt, several times. And no, it wasn't just part of the massage. He touched my hole, not once, not twice. But many times until I forgot for a good 10 seconds that I was in a decent spa. I moaned like a porn star. I suddenly snapped back and said sorry. He said, Okay lang sir. Then he grabbed both butt cheeks and added, okay po ba yung massage sir? (Is the massage okay, sir?)...'

'There was nothing else I could do. My dick was at its hardest and lying on it made it even worse. Suddenly, I grabbed his crotch, pulled down is pants and started giving him a hand job. He wanted me to suck his dick but I told him I don't do it on the first date haha! I didn't jack off. It wasn't safe. But he did. He came on my face and I loved it! I even took a pinch of his cum on my cheek and tasted it. It was sweet. I'm definitely cumming back!'

---------

At first, I didn't believe his story. But I saw read his blog and he said he did go back and got even more from the same masseur. This time there was no massage -- only a hot afternoon session with a masseur wearing a sexy robe, fucking him against the wall of the VIP room -- then in one of the rest room's cubicles. YES. He got fucked twice. Again, according to his blog.

-------

Determined to find out the truth, I decided to go there myself. I went there alone. First thing I noticed is that there were a lot of PLUs. They gave me a key to my locker. I took off my pants and shirt and grabbed a towel. I showered first then went to the sauna. Upon entering, I saw two guys on the side who were sitting very close to each other. At first, I thought it may be just the light. I focused and I swear I saw one's hand on the other 's leg. I thought I concentrated too hard that they stopped. The skinnier guy left. The other guy -- an older guy -- followed shortly after.

I was escorted to the massage rooms. I waited for the masseur. My heart was beating faster and I could feel my pulse through my dick. When he arrived, he was dressed in a uniform similar to that of a physical therapist's.

'Hi Sir, massage service?'

'Ahh.... yeah.'

I couldn't help but wonder. Was he offering me two different things?

From Condoms to Roses 3

After a long walk, I grabbed some ice cream from the nearby convenience store. I didn't know if I wanted to go home or spend the night at a friend's place. The arguments have become worse but I've learned the art of just not caring at all. Though it's pretty difficult to admit that we do have problems in our so-called relationship, I am still in it, afraid that if I do not take chances, I would let this one slip so easily like the last one I had.

So after a heated argument on the phone, I bought half a gallon of his favorite ice cream. I got the keys from my pocket and opened the door of our apartment. But it wasn't locked. Great. He was really expecting me to be back.

When I opened the door, I didn't see him. I figured he was in the shower. I put the ice cream in the freezer before it melted and got out of my clothes. They say make up sex is always the best and doing it while in the shower should make it extra special. I put my towel around my waist and tip-toed to the bathroom.

The door was slightly opened. I took a peek and was surprised at what I saw. There was someone else inside the bathroom and Ronnie was fucking him - dogstyle. I opened the door and gasped. They both looked at me. He stopped humping. The other guy had a worried look on his face but Ronnie had him pinned against the wall. He didn't even pull his dick out of his ass. He kept humping after a few seconds, as if giving me a signal to fuck off.

I took off but was not so shocked anymore. I was just a bit surprised that he couldn't pick a better time to fuck someone. I guess I will really be spending the night with someone else.

-----

I approached the receptionist. She asked for my name and I gave it. He called his apartment and asked if he was expecting someone. She gave him my name and she let me go up to his new apartment.

When I knocked on his door, I was nervous. This is the first time I am going to see him. I knocked once. Twice. And there he was at the door. The hot, romantic fling from last summer. The 'extremely horny guy' who turned condoms to roses. It was Jason.

'Hey, how are you?'
'I'm good.' I said.
'Been a while.'
'Yeah, I guess.'
'Are you gonna come in or what?'

He still had the same smile on his face. Same positive energy. His apartment is about 10 minutes away from mine yet I never visited him since that fateful day when I left the apartment two days after finding a condom on his pocket.

'I still can't believe you didn't think it was for you.'
'Let's just say I was younger and more stupid.'

He kept insisting that the condom he prepared was for me. How can you blame me? His attitude towards sex would easily make me jealous. I was always suspecting that he was having sex with someone else. I always thought that a relationship which started out with a hot, sexual encounter could never turn into a serious relationship.

But of course I was wrong. He was right all along.

'You should have believed me.'
'I believe you now.'
'So what brings you here?'
'I- uhm..'
'I know.'
'Huh?'
'You always do that when you have a problem.'
'DO what?'
'Mumble like a teenager in the principal's office.'

The truth is I really couldn't tell him. What should I tell him? That I've replaced him with some sick bastard who is more horny than I thought? Who was always left with a lack of fucking someone since he is the bottom in our relationship?

'What's his name?'
'Ronnie.'
'And what's the problem with Ronnie.'
'I caught him fucking someone in the bathroom... again.'
'So you're now bottom?'
'No silly. He is. But he fucks someone else because I don't wanna be fucked.'
'Then maybe you should give in?'
'I don't think so.'
'Are you leaving him?'

That was a difficult question to answer. I always thought I never really tried to make the relationship work when I was with Jason. All the paranoia -- I just didn't trust him enough. So I thought in my next relationship, I ought to try harder.

'And you did.'
'Maybe not.'
'Sometimes, you have to know when to stop trying.'

I felt tears on my cheeks. I just suddenly remembered how we were. How happy I was and how miserable I am right now. I never should have let him go, I know that.

'Is it too late to try to ask for your forgiveness, Jason?'

He smiled. He stood up and got me a photo. It was then when I realized what I had to do.

From Condoms to Roses 2

Although our usual everyday sexual encounters were reduced to a once-a-week affair, he was still incomparable. There was so much passion, much more than any of the other guys I’ve been in bed with. So it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. Still, I was wondering why his testosterone level began to dip and he started being sweet and cuddly. I smell a break-up waiting to happen.

‘What’s up with you?’ I asked while we were having dinner.
‘What’s up with me?’
‘Yeah.’
‘Yeah, so? What do you mean?’
‘I dunno. I just noticed we’re... just..’
‘Not having too much sex?’
‘Yeah. Sorry, I just want to know.’
‘Nothing.’ He wiped his mouth with the napkin. ‘I just thought we should start changing the way things are around these parts.’
‘Okay, you mean you want to break-up?’
‘Hey, no one is talking about breaking up.’
‘So which part did you say needs to be changed?’
‘You’ll see.’

I started being paranoid since we had that conversation. There were times when I’d worry if I don’t see him in bed when he’s supposed to be sleeping with me. I’d think something’s up when he kisses me when he leaves. I’d notice how much he says ‘I love you’ and ‘I miss you’ like he’s bidding goodbye. I’d wonder why he’s always hugging me and saying ‘Thank you’ when I cook the simplest dinner in the world. I’d frown at every time he sings songs to me.

My friends think that I am overreacting. I think I’m just being cautious. I could never believe that a relationship that started with an SEB (Sex-Eye-Ball) can turn into what is happening to us. My paranoia was my heart’s cautious response so as not to hurt itself in case he decides to break loose.

One time, I was drunk from a partying, I arrived at the apartment surprised as I saw him and another guy on the couch at 2AM. I went berserk and started asking who he was. He tried to explain that he was just a friend who dropped by. He asked him to leave. I was ready to raise hell.

‘Who the fuck would visit a fucking friend at 2 in the fucking morning?’
‘Stop it. Stop cursing.’ He never uses cuss words.
‘I am going to say FUCK whenever I want to ‘coz you’re fucking screwing with me.’
‘Maybe if we talk tomorrow when you’re sober, you’ll understand.’
‘Maybe if I didn’t arrive sooner you two would’ve fucked in our apartment.’

I was going psycho and I didn’t even know why. I didn’t catch them doing anything. They were ‘just talking’. My friends were pretty dubious but even though I’ve doubted his loyalty since we had our first date, he never did anything to confirm those doubts... until now.

The next day, I pissed him off when I didn’t talk to him at all. He prepared breakfast for the two of us but I didn’t touch any of it. I stormed out of the apartment after taking a quick bath and went malling. When I came back, we had the chance to talk and he assured me he was just a friend. I didn’t believe him. But for the sake of putting the issue to rest, I lied and said I did.

He was ecstatic. He kept thanking me for believing in him. He started kissing me on my neck and saying sweet things but I just rolled my eyes, trying to contain myself. It’s overly dramatic but I wanted to cry. I wanted to break up with him and save myself from this drama. But he began his romantic ways and started kissing me. We haven’t had sex since our big fight. He pulled my shirt off and I pulled his. This is great! Make-up sex is the best in the world. He began kissing me more passionately, going from my lips to my jaws, my neck. I acted like a man who didn’t care at all.

I kept rolling my eyes like I still didn’t care but he was like a force I couldn’t repel. With every kiss, I began to grow weaker and weaker. As he mumbled the words ‘I’m sorry’ I couldn’t believe I responded with ‘I forgive you’. SUCH A CLICHE! We were both half-naked by the time he reached my nipples. I had the most amazing sensation around my right nipple, something I’ve never felt before. He was licking it like he’s never licked one before. I moaned in excitement and he just kept going and going.

He took off my shorts and underwear. I was watching in awe as he did the most amazing deepthroat I’ve had in a long time. I knew this was going to be good. I stopped him, being careful not to cum too soon. I pulled him so he could kneel in front of my face. I unzipped his pants and took out his dick. What a waste, I always say. He’s probably one of the many beautiful bottoms with a dick bigger than their top and yet they prefer not to use it.

I focused on the tip as I was lying down with his hard dick on my face. I moved to a more stable position. I ate more of his hard meat. He moaned and kept mumbling something. I couldn’t understand what he was saying. I focused on what I had, what we both had, what we were both in. And I remembered the very first reason why we got together.

I got pretty excited. I slapped his butt a few times. I caressed both cheeks , squeezed them hard when suddenly... I felt a little poke on his left cheek. I stopped sucking him.

‘What? Why’d you stop?’

I didn’t answer. I leaned forward my face touched his dick and reached for his back pocket. I pulled the thing out and was surprised to find out it was a condom. I stared at the mint-flavoured Durex rubber and my mind was saying, ‘You’re the top and he’s always been a bottom. You always keep your condoms in your drawer.’

‘It’s for you.’ He said. His voice was a bit shaky I thought.

I just stared at the thing. I sat on the couch and grabbed my shirt. He said, ‘It’s what you think it is.’

And all I could say was, ‘I need to go for a walk.’