Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Quarantine pt. 2

The plan was simple. If we can't beat them...err no we're not gonna join them... we're gonna have to avoid them. I don't know exactly how the conversation went. It was my mom who told me of their ingenius plan to solve my 'problem'.

Here's the thing: no matter what they do, these gay kids will still be in school. Their parents are paying for big amount of money to keep them in a good school. They thought the only way to solve this is for me to lessen my interaction with the other gay kids.

When it comes to reports and other activities that require us to group ourselves, I wasn't allowed to be part of the gay kids' group. I was only allowed to stay with the straight ones. I was also encouraged to join their manly activities such as basketball, table tennis, taekwondo and being part of the Knights of the Altar.

Well, the last one didn't really work out. I was glad that the group's complete so I had to be part of the readers and song leaders. I did great.. I was a gospel diva.

The worst part of the plan is for me to stay indoors. By indoors, I meant I was not allowed to leave the floor during my breaks. My mom said I could buy my food before going to school and eat it in the classroom. My class adviser had a better idea. She asked me to run some errands for the entire faculty team.

My friends started wondering. When they ask, I just tell them that it's something personal and I didn't want to discuss it. I'm glad they didn't force me. But I did cry when my friend sang me a song. It was about saying goodbye to a friendship you really gave importance to.

The quarantine lasted for two months...

Monday, January 22, 2007

Quarantine pt. 1

It started with a joke. I was on the 2nd floor and someone was calling out my name. I tried to ignore it because it was the flamboyant gay guy whom I played volleyball with and lost.

Orange: Kai! Kai!
Me: HUH?

He was pulling another gay guy towards him. They were laughing at something. I thought it was me. Then he yelled out:

Orange: Kai! Puke ka! (Kai, you're a pussy!) It was the 90's. Sexual revolution was very much in. But sexual language game was forbidden. So I went straight to the Moderator's office and told her that Orange said something indecent to me in public.

I felt some sort of fulfillment. If I wasn't able to take this guy out at the Volleyball game, I sure can kick his ass into the principal's office with this. Boy, I was so wrong.

Instead, it was ME who was called by our grade level moderator because I 'have some explainign to do." There she was sitting behind her desk. I was thrilled to hear something like 'we told his parents. Thanks for letting us know. you're a great kid. Here's your medal.' But what I got was an angry old lady infront of my face.


"I beg your pardon?"

"Orange told me that you were imitating my voice and making fun of me in front of the class. WHY?! Do you think I have a funny, strange voice Kai?! Does it tickle you a bit when I even say a word...like when I'm talking right now? Tell me! Tell me!"

I wasn't ready for this.

"Tomorrow I want to see your parents. I need to talk to them. This whole gay thing has to stop once and for all!"

"Ms. L, hold on a second. If you think I am gay.."

"Mr. Santorino, I know what to say and when to say it and who to say it to."

Shit. I was in deep shit. I didn't know what to tell my mom. She'd probably ask my dad to go and he would push me against the wall. 'Be a MAN!'

The next thing I knew. I was at home. My mom was explainign to me how frustrated she was and that she wanted to know the truth. "Mrs. L said you were being linked to other boys..."

'Duh... mom. Haven't you noticed? It's an all-boys school."

"...and that you were good friends with the gay guys. She said she doesn't think you're gay but hanging out with this kind of group will definitely influence you. Greatly influence you. They gave me a warning.."

What?! A Public Warning?!

"It's a 'private' warning. I just found out that Raffy, the guy from your grandmom's neighborhood, got kicked out of your school because of this. HE was gay and nobody at home knew. His mother couldn't believe it. She thought the teacher was kidding or something.

That's why I think it would be in our best interest to force you to avoid these kids. WE"RE DOING THIS FOR YOU, son."

"What's the plan?"

Tuesday, January 9, 2007

Crush, Puppy love and Infatuation: The Early Gay Years

People often ask me: What is it like to be in love? Of course, we are not talking about the usual Beverly Hills 90210 kind of relationship here. Some of my friends find it difficult to accept that there are hundreds, if not thousands of gay men out there who are in their own relationships and trying to make things work while society is busy fucking.

Is it real? Do you really feel like you're in love with the guy? Is it like falling in love with a woman? If not, how different is it?

Honestly,there's not much of a huge difference. I think what I can point out is that gays--or men in general for that matter--are naturally horny. This means that some gays are completely incapable of having a monogamous relationship. The world is just full of hot muscled, cute chubby, sexy and slender guys and they're not just there to make a pose. Some meat are meant to be eaten.

I don't quite remember the first time I had a crush on a guy. However, I do remember having this conversation with my classmate in 3rd grade. We were watching 'North' and I just blurted out 'Elijah Wood is cute!' His expression was something I could not describe at that time. Now I can say he was more than shocked when those words came out of my mouth, especially when I just led the whole campus as commentator for the weekly mass. I came from an all-boys' school. It was a crime to be gay.

In fact, HOMOSEXUALITY is not only a crime but virus much worse than AIDS or Ebola. The tough ones abhor the gays who play volleyball. If you show any sign of effeminacy, you'll be judged and by 'judged' I mean you'll be kicked out.

Yes, this doesn't only happen in the movies folks. It was the freaking 90's. It's the revolution of ideas. People have more sex. More guys become gays. Women become lesbians. Some pretend to be 'bisexuals'. Parents have this longstanding fight against immorality and they were not about to shake this gay issue off.

It was September of 1992. We had the usual: flag ceremony. The Rector gave his less-than-inspiring speech. The assistant principal grabs the microphone and reads the announcement to the entire crowd composed of 6 grade levels, with 7 classes each level and 50 students in each class.

"Public warning: Please be advised that we are maintaining high cultural and social standards. This academic institution will do the best it can to protect the moral rights of its students and preserve the diminishing moral values of the society. We stand by our mission to develop leaders and not shameful denizens of this nation.

Let it be known that (NAME OF STUDENT) has been found guilty of violationg Section 2 Paragraph 14 of the school policy which states that 'This institution will not tolerate any acts of effeminacy and homosexuality. Anyone who violates this would be kicked out of the school. He will no longer be allowed to step into the hallways of this school nor carry its name for any cause or reason.'

Of course the gay guys were flabbergasted. Why kick out a hardworking student because he's gay?