Saturday, July 21, 2007

To Pee or Not to Pee

I've been called many things in bed. My personal favorite is 'Heaven's devil'. It was a 30ish man who drives a Civic and is a production staff at a leading network. When I got on his car, he was pretty quiet.

'Why so silent?'
'Well, I didn't expect you to be like this?'
'SO you're disappointed?'
'No, no. It's just that I thought I was chatting with a devil in bed but I see an angel sitting in my car. It's kinda freaky.'

And it was. After some convincing, he eventually agreed to do it. We were both horny and wanted to just put on a good show for ourselves. HE liked it. (He said this in a text message about five minutes after we left) So did I. However, he thought I lied about my age. He thought I was still in high school. So instead of bringing me to his place, we went into those drive-in motels in Pasig. My first and so far, the best experience in that kind of place.

It's nice when people love what you did to them in bed. It gives you that sense of fulfillment, that after you've hurt your bottom enough to reach orgasm, you return the favor by also giving back an equal amount of pleasure, whether through an unforgettable humping technique or an absolutely sensual foreplay.

But there were times when I had to stop and think before doing what I've been asked to do. One, I am constantly being asked to fuck without a condom. Second, someone already forced me into rimming him, claiming that he used a great amount of PH care to 'cleanse' whatever it is that needs some cleansing. There was a man who was okay with not being rimmed by me, but would force me to kiss after he eats my bottom. It's absolutely gross. Reflex forced me to kick him in his crotch. I hurt him accidentally. I apologised. But instead of hating me, he liked it. he asked me to do it again.

SEXUAL PERVERSIONS.

A PR executive, who was absolutely fluent in English, and who-after doing the usual are-you-top-or-bottom conversation at Starbucks, never spoke a single Tagalog word, asked me to moan and do some dirty talk in the vernacular.

'Say it like you mean it!'
'Huh, are you sure?'
'YEah!'
'Tangina ka! Kakantutin kita putangina ka!'
'YEah! More!'
'Yan, gusto mo? Nararamdaman mo ba kargada ko sa loob mo?'
'Ahhh! You're good man.'

No matter how corny and hideous we may look and act, we still do it. Because we always want to give pleasure to our partners in bed.

I guess the worst I've been asked so far is this one time at the gym. A very handsome man entered the sauna while I was there. He made the first move and I was just there, sitting and receiving all the good graces from this lad. He was quite a catch.

'You cumming?'
'Yeah dude, soon.'
'Just tell me okay?'

I thought he wanted me to cum on his chest... or his face.. or the more common request is to cum in the mouth of my bottom. They've said it so many times: my cum tastes so sweet it's almost like taking candy in its liquid state.

However, the request of this gorgeous lad truly surprised me...

'Once you're done PEE ON MY FACE.'
'What?! I don't think I want to do that.'
'Why not?'
'I can pee in one of the cubicles.'
'I'm here, why not throw me some lovin'? Come on dude. I really need it.'

It was weird. I remember watching a European porn with the same fetish but I never thought of an Asian having the same kind of 'kinky idea'.

As I was about to cum, I wondered what my response would be...

12 comments:

  1. hahaha! this is absolutely one of the funniest post i have ever read. and funny with subtlety.

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  2. di ko kaya ang powers moh!
    i remembered an episode in sex in the city about the peeing incident of carrie bradshaw.

    people have different fetishes, i guess.

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  3. so no candle drips, hehehe. unprotected sex/barebacking is a no no!

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  4. barebacking might be fun but hey think of how dirty it is down there

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  5. Man!
    Ur like the DALUMAT
    of Blogspot! This is one hot post! Keep posting more of this!
    =)

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  6. hehehe talk about six degrees

    found your blog via mcvie...and we're totally on different ends of the sexual spectrum.

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  7. OMG! Well I havent manage to meet someone with those kinds of fetishes

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  8. So Am I .... "Kumantot ka kahit anong preference, wag lng akong ihi-an".. ;-)

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  9. @ Dan Gabriel: thanks!

    @chase: YES, I remember that ep and it's one of my favorites. LOL

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  10. @daizuke: LOL yeah ako rin!

    No one has commented about doing dirty talk in the vernacular... anyone who likes that?

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  11. Talking dirty in vernacular seemed funny, somewhat unnatural. Kantot is not even a polite word especially to an inhibited. Except maybe, Ayy yay yayyay! Diyos ko po ansarap after a passionate sex,embrace or what have you.

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  12. yeah i agree, 'kantot' is kinda.. offensive? (is that the right word?) It's like the endless debate between 'wanna make love to you' and 'wanna fuck you' -- make love vs. having sex

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