‘What’s up with you?’ I asked while we were having dinner.
‘What’s up with me?’
‘Yeah, so? What do you mean?’
‘I dunno. I just noticed we’re... just..’
‘Not having too much sex?’
‘Yeah. Sorry, I just want to know.’
‘Nothing.’ He wiped his mouth with the napkin. ‘I just thought we should start changing the way things are around these parts.’
‘Okay, you mean you want to break-up?’
‘Hey, no one is talking about breaking up.’
‘So which part did you say needs to be changed?’
I started being paranoid since we had that conversation. There were times when I’d worry if I don’t see him in bed when he’s supposed to be sleeping with me. I’d think something’s up when he kisses me when he leaves. I’d notice how much he says ‘I love you’ and ‘I miss you’ like he’s bidding goodbye. I’d wonder why he’s always hugging me and saying ‘Thank you’ when I cook the simplest dinner in the world. I’d frown at every time he sings songs to me.
My friends think that I am overreacting. I think I’m just being cautious. I could never believe that a relationship that started with an SEB (Sex-Eye-Ball) can turn into what is happening to us. My paranoia was my heart’s cautious response so as not to hurt itself in case he decides to break loose.
One time, I was drunk from a partying, I arrived at the apartment surprised as I saw him and another guy on the couch at 2AM. I went berserk and started asking who he was. He tried to explain that he was just a friend who dropped by. He asked him to leave. I was ready to raise hell.
‘Who the fuck would visit a fucking friend at 2 in the fucking morning?’
‘Stop it. Stop cursing.’ He never uses cuss words.
‘I am going to say FUCK whenever I want to ‘coz you’re fucking screwing with me.’
‘Maybe if we talk tomorrow when you’re sober, you’ll understand.’
‘Maybe if I didn’t arrive sooner you two would’ve fucked in our apartment.’
I was going psycho and I didn’t even know why. I didn’t catch them doing anything. They were ‘just talking’. My friends were pretty dubious but even though I’ve doubted his loyalty since we had our first date, he never did anything to confirm those doubts... until now.
The next day, I pissed him off when I didn’t talk to him at all. He prepared breakfast for the two of us but I didn’t touch any of it. I stormed out of the apartment after taking a quick bath and went malling. When I came back, we had the chance to talk and he assured me he was just a friend. I didn’t believe him. But for the sake of putting the issue to rest, I lied and said I did.
He was ecstatic. He kept thanking me for believing in him. He started kissing me on my neck and saying sweet things but I just rolled my eyes, trying to contain myself. It’s overly dramatic but I wanted to cry. I wanted to break up with him and save myself from this drama. But he began his romantic ways and started kissing me. We haven’t had sex since our big fight. He pulled my shirt off and I pulled his. This is great! Make-up sex is the best in the world. He began kissing me more passionately, going from my lips to my jaws, my neck. I acted like a man who didn’t care at all.
I kept rolling my eyes like I still didn’t care but he was like a force I couldn’t repel. With every kiss, I began to grow weaker and weaker. As he mumbled the words ‘I’m sorry’ I couldn’t believe I responded with ‘I forgive you’. SUCH A CLICHE! We were both half-naked by the time he reached my nipples. I had the most amazing sensation around my right nipple, something I’ve never felt before. He was licking it like he’s never licked one before. I moaned in excitement and he just kept going and going.
He took off my shorts and underwear. I was watching in awe as he did the most amazing deepthroat I’ve had in a long time. I knew this was going to be good. I stopped him, being careful not to cum too soon. I pulled him so he could kneel in front of my face. I unzipped his pants and took out his dick. What a waste, I always say. He’s probably one of the many beautiful bottoms with a dick bigger than their top and yet they prefer not to use it.
I focused on the tip as I was lying down with his hard dick on my face. I moved to a more stable position. I ate more of his hard meat. He moaned and kept mumbling something. I couldn’t understand what he was saying. I focused on what I had, what we both had, what we were both in. And I remembered the very first reason why we got together.
I got pretty excited. I slapped his butt a few times. I caressed both cheeks , squeezed them hard when suddenly... I felt a little poke on his left cheek. I stopped sucking him.
‘What? Why’d you stop?’
I didn’t answer. I leaned forward my face touched his dick and reached for his back pocket. I pulled the thing out and was surprised to find out it was a condom. I stared at the mint-flavoured Durex rubber and my mind was saying, ‘You’re the top and he’s always been a bottom. You always keep your condoms in your drawer.’
‘It’s for you.’ He said. His voice was a bit shaky I thought.
I just stared at the thing. I sat on the couch and grabbed my shirt. He said, ‘It’s what you think it is.’
And all I could say was, ‘I need to go for a walk.’