Thursday, November 6, 2008

The Ex-Ex-Men - Second encounter

I called George the next day, still unable to fathom what was revealed to me at the coffee shop.

'He turned into an Ex-ex-man!'
'You know, Ex-ex-men. Gay guys who decide to be straight again.'
'Oh, I get it now. Hence the double negation.'
'I just can't believe you would trade a cock for a pussy just like that.'
'It's 6 in the morning and we're talking cock trades?'
'How did this happen?'
'Ask Seth.'

Seth was the first ex-ex-man I met. At the age of 4, he wore his mother's lipstick. At 7 he told his dad he wants to have a vagina. He left them some months after when his mom supported the idea. When he was in high school, he wore his polo like a hanging blouse. The guidance counselor frowned at this but when they realized how generous his parents were, they pretended like it's a giant elephant that nobody can talk about.

'Did you recruit my ex?'
'Excuse me?'
'Yoko, did he join your club?'
'Oh him.. cu-- how is he?'
'Well, George and I bumped into him yesterday and guess what he told me?'
'He's moved on and forgotten about you?'
'Well, yeah maybe and even more.'

I paused. He looked anxious to know what it was about.

'He told me he's getting married.'
'To a woman.'
'WOW! He finally saw the light!'
'The light - what does that even mean?'
'I knew he wasn't really gay.'
'And you knew this because..?'
'Because he never looked at you like a man would..'
'Okay stop before you hurt my feelings. What I really would like to know is how on earth could this be possible.'

'Simple. You wake up and realize it's not what you want.'
'It's not that simple Seth.'

I thought about this so carefully, especially when the time when Seth wanted to be called Selena played in my head.

'When I saw the light..'
'Can you please stop calling it that.'
'Fine. When I realized I'm straight, I just fell for someone. Julie was perfect. She made me laugh and I was happy. Believe me, I never really entertained the idea of having sex with a woman but when it happened it was the best sex I had.'

That made me cringe a bit.

'Really, did you yell for the cops?'
'Seriously, I think people change.'
'Sexualities don't.'
'Maybe they do. Mine did.

The next day, I decided to call the ex-ex-men and ask him how he ended up being a vegetarian.

'You busy?'
'Just some wedding stuff but yeah I guess we can talk.'
'Okay, jokes on me. Please tell me you're not doing this?'
'Excuse me, is this Julia Roberts from My Best Friend's Wedding?'
'No, I am not Julia Roberts and I am not your best

friend. I'm your ex and I hope you still remember that.'
'Oh yeah I do.'
'Then why are you doing this?'
'Doing what?'

'This wedding. This act. This lie. Make no mistake I am not jealous at all that you've found a way to distract yourself. And I am not trying to get back with you either. I am just mostly concerned about this whole drama of yours. You'll end up hurting someone and she seems really nice.'

'She is nice.'
'Then why would you lie to her??'
'I'm not lying to anyone.'
'Yes you are. You are gay and you suck cock. You don't wake up one day and decide that you hate beef.'

There was an awkward silence.

'Hey I'm sorry. I-I was just concerned about you.'
'Janna knows.'
'About you. About us. Our past.'
'She does? How..'
'Maybe you have to start believing in love a bit. People fall in love and some just cannot control how it's gonna happen. It happened this way to me -- believe it or not. I was in love with you. And I accepted that. Now I fell in love with her and you have to accept that.'

He had a point. Maybe there was no need to define what was happening to him. Our society is defined by so many labels - gay, straight, bisexual. Maybe he didn't subscribe to the same labels.


  1. oh my! 'tis knocked me off! so it can really happen

  2. Well, at least the girl is not the conservative type and really accepts him for who he is.