Crush, Puppy love and Infatuation: The Early Gay Years

People often ask me: What is it like to be in love? Of course, we are not talking about the usual Beverly Hills 90210 kind of relationship here. Some of my friends find it difficult to accept that there are hundreds, if not thousands of gay men out there who are in their own relationships and trying to make things work while society is busy fucking.

Is it real? Do you really feel like you're in love with the guy? Is it like falling in love with a woman? If not, how different is it?

Honestly,there's not much of a huge difference. I think what I can point out is that gays--or men in general for that matter--are naturally horny. This means that some gays are completely incapable of having a monogamous relationship. The world is just full of hot muscled, cute chubby, sexy and slender guys and they're not just there to make a pose. Some meat are meant to be eaten.

I don't quite remember the first time I had a crush on a guy. However, I do remember having this conversation with my classmate in 3rd grade. We were watching 'North' and I just blurted out 'Elijah Wood is cute!' His expression was something I could not describe at that time. Now I can say he was more than shocked when those words came out of my mouth, especially when I just led the whole campus as commentator for the weekly mass. I came from an all-boys' school. It was a crime to be gay.

In fact, HOMOSEXUALITY is not only a crime but virus much worse than AIDS or Ebola. The tough ones abhor the gays who play volleyball. If you show any sign of effeminacy, you'll be judged and by 'judged' I mean you'll be kicked out.

Yes, this doesn't only happen in the movies folks. It was the freaking 90's. It's the revolution of ideas. People have more sex. More guys become gays. Women become lesbians. Some pretend to be 'bisexuals'. Parents have this longstanding fight against immorality and they were not about to shake this gay issue off.

It was September of 1992. We had the usual: flag ceremony. The Rector gave his less-than-inspiring speech. The assistant principal grabs the microphone and reads the announcement to the entire crowd composed of 6 grade levels, with 7 classes each level and 50 students in each class.

"Public warning: Please be advised that we are maintaining high cultural and social standards. This academic institution will do the best it can to protect the moral rights of its students and preserve the diminishing moral values of the society. We stand by our mission to develop leaders and not shameful denizens of this nation.

Let it be known that (NAME OF STUDENT) has been found guilty of violationg Section 2 Paragraph 14 of the school policy which states that 'This institution will not tolerate any acts of effeminacy and homosexuality. Anyone who violates this would be kicked out of the school. He will no longer be allowed to step into the hallways of this school nor carry its name for any cause or reason.'

Of course the gay guys were flabbergasted. Why kick out a hardworking student because he's gay?